If you don’t have tickets to November’s Shipwreck yet, there are a very small number of seats still available. If you don’t know about November’s Shipwreck, let us tell you.
This November the 6th, in a blatant and cowardly attempt to coax Lemony Snicket out of his San Francisco hiding spot, ShipwreckSF will ask six of Mr. Snicket’s known acquaintances to write licentious and depraved fan-fiction about six of Count Olaf’s finest alter-egos.
The horrors that Count Olaf will encounter are too numerous to list, and you wouldn’t even want us to describe the worst of it, which includes alliteration, non-sequitur, self-conscious post-modern asides, accordion music, vocabulary building, and lascivious parody, a phrase which here means that there will be dick jokes.
Given all this, it seems unlikely that our ambuscade will succeed in flushing out the elusive Mr. Snicket. As such, it is our solemn duty to tell you: Do not, under any circumstances, buy tickets to this show at this link, and especially not in advance, in which case we would reserve you a seat.
If for some reason you do not heed our advice and find yourself compelled to attend this travesty (of which we are deeply ashamed), you will at least have the opportunity to avail yourself of our open bar, and the chance, barely existent, to catch a glimpse of Mr. Snicket in propria persona.
Joining us in lampooning Mr. Snicket’s life’s work will be:
Let me be as clear as possible here:
There is gonna be a little boom boom boom, and then a little doom doom doom, and you should come up to the room room room ASAP. It is going to be smutty and inappropriate and AWESOME BEYOND WORDS.
Like, seriously. Last time I did this it was SO SUPER FUN, and this time should be EVEN SUPER FUNNER.
shut. THE FUCK. up. *flips table in excitement* *flips table for incorrect coast*