Can a Girl Get a Reblog?

Jeff: Britta, you were right! I can feel my ego taking over. Do something!
Britta: Okay, listen to me. You are not that big of a deal, do you understand? You have bad posture. When you do too many push-ups it looks like you have boobs. The tile in your bathroom is tacky. You were emotionally closed off in bed to the point where one time I didn't come up because I couldn't find close enough parking. You have an unusually high butt crack!
Jeff: Thank you. It couldn't have been easy for you to lie like that.

03/25/12

“

How wrong to think I was anyone else, like thinking grass stains make you a beautiful view, like getting kissed makes you kissable, like feeling warm makes you coffee, like liking movies makes you a director. How utterly incorrect to think it any other way, a box of crap is treasures, a boy smiling means it, a gentle moment is a life improved.

Daniel Handler, Why We Broke Up (via laureltree)

(via laureltree-deactivated20120305)

01/22/12

“

Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.

Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events (via icarusairlines)

12/30/11

Shirley Bennett: Mother hen? I think we're about the same age.
Britta Perry: Yeah, unless time is linear.
Shirley: I'll make your ass linear.
Britta: That doesn't even make sense.
Shirley: I'll make your ass sense.

10/8/11

“

Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.

Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid (via bookporn)

(via nivair)

09/29/11

Gustavo Rocque: "You remind me of Matthew McConaughey."
James Diamond: "Awesome!"
Gustavo Rocque: "I can't stand Matthew McConaughey!"

09/3/11

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE.

Dad, I’m in space.

I’m proud of you, son.

Dad, are you space?

Yes. Now we are a family again.

08/19/11

“

I never thought I would listen to and/or enjoy accordion music. But I never thought an accordion player would come out of my bushes, either.

Brendan Leonard, The Brendan Leonard Show

08/7/11

“

Can you believe that I can’t drink coffee? Good luck with that, by the way.

Mary Shannon, In Plain Sight

06/25/11

Can a Girl Get a Reblog?

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE.

Ask me anything